In the Belly
of the Whale
So that our readers might get to know us better and on a more personal level, we are asking different members of the Congregation to share some thoughts about their own vocation, the Servant ministry, and how they experience God's grace at work in their day-to-day lives. The series continues this month with an article by Fr. Paul Valley, s.P.. Among other ministries he is Novice Director at our Novitiate in Jemez Springs.
Dear Partners in this Ministry,
My "career" (or perhaps better to say, "sojourn") in the Religious Life began in 1955 when I was 20. I entered a Trappist monastery. I had never heard of the Servants of the Paraclete. A seed was planted, however, by a monk I consider my mentor. Father Shane had been a Jesuit for 35 years before he became a Trappist. One of his favorite prayer subjects was for "troubled priests." He introduced to me books by E. Boyd Barrett such as
Shepherds in the Mist and A Shepherd Without Sheep. Barrett was himself one of these "stray shepherds" who had returned. He urged for prayers, sympathy and loving concern and efforts to bring back priests who had gone astray.Even though the Servants of the Paraclete started in 1947, they were not well known evidently since "wayward priests" were still sent to Trappist monasteries "to do penance" when I entered. I remember being edified by a priest who lived in the monastery guesthouse. He was not allowed to offer Mass, but he served Mass for other priests. I don’t think the Trappists knew how to help these priests. The fact that there was a tavern within a few miles of the monastery was not much help for those whose problem was with alcohol.
In 1960 a friend of Father Shane, Father Joe Moylan, a Servant of the Paraclete who had been a Jesuit, visited the monastery. At the same time there was a man, Jim Sampson, living in the monastery guesthouse that year. He had been in another Trappist monastery, until it was discerned that life as a Trappist was not his calling. He still wanted to at least live near the monks, and was hired as a driver. Father Shane introduced Jim to Father Moylan, and told Jim he should join the Servants of the Paraclete. He did.
In 1979, after 24 years with the Trappists, I had my own version of being a Shepherd in the Mist. I left the monastery with the thought of getting married. I guess I considered myself as having been too young when I entered the monastery, and had missed out on part of life. Perhaps it could be termed a mid-life crisis. I studied to become a Social Worker in the mental health field. I decided not to get married. I was frustrated with my social work experience. There was no pastoral care department where I worked. I saw the need for that aspect of mental health treatment. I returned to the priesthood and trained as a chaplain and went to work in a state mental hospital. After two years, I was invited to go to Guatemala to be chaplain for Religious Sisters and Brothers. During those four years, I began to ask myself where I was with Religious Life, community, and the vows. It never was an option in my mind to return to the Trappist monastery. Instead I responded to an invitation to be chaplain at a hospital. I almost applied for a job with the Servants of the Paraclete as a social worker in their treatment program that was in New Mexico in 1989. After some months as hospital chaplain, the question of where I stood with Religious life, community, and the vows haunted me. I woke up one morning with the idea, "Maybe I am called to serve as a Servant of the Paraclete." After more prayer and reflection, I phoned the novitiate in New Mexico. Who was the novice master? The man who years ago had been living in the monastery guest house, now, Father Jim Sampson. He invited me to visit. I met with the members of the General Council, and was accepted into the Community. The seed planted within me more than 30 years before had finally sprouted.
Thomas Merton, another Trappist monk, wrote of his vocation as a comparison to Jonah being swallowed by a whale after he had been tossed into the sea, trying to flee from where God wanted him to be. He was carried by the whale to the place where God wanted him. That rings true for me. It was a long journey, but I feel at home. It has been a marvelous experience to work with Priests and Religious Brothers, sometimes described as "troubled." To see them turn a corner toward wholeness has often brought tears to my eyes. Those who return to ministry are probably better ministers, more compassionate. When I was in the novitiate, Father Sampson would say that to help one Priest or Brother return to ministry allows him to help thousands of people. That has been an inspiration to me.
Providing a home for Priests and Brothers who are not able to return to ministry is another of our services. They edify me with their acceptance of another approach to ministry, a semi-monastic contemplative life-style. They join us in our daily Holy Hour before the Blessed Sacrament and at our Eucharistic Celebration.
When Father Gerald Fitzgerald was a parish priest, he would chat with the "hobos" or "men of the road" who rode the trains and came to the rectory for a handout. Once he found out that one of them was a priest who had been overcome by alcohol addiction. He was a Shepherd in the Mist. Father Gerald said, "Priests need Priests." In 1947 he founded the Servants of the Paraclete in a little village called Jemez Springs, in New Mexico. He started many houses or monasteries, as he called them, as men joined him in his work, and bishops and religious superiors sent Priests and Brothers to him. Father Gerald called these men, "guests." His respect for Priests and the priesthood far surpassed any human weakness these men exhibited. Many Priests and Brothers have been and still are being helped toward wholeness in the five remaining houses. I am proud to be part of that ministry.
My present ministry is as Director of the Novitiate. Our greatest need at this time is for new members to come join in our Community so we can carry on our ministry. "The harvest indeed is great, but the laborers are few. Pray that the Lord will send workers into his vineyard." We know the power of prayer and that where two or three are gathered together in the name of the Lord our prayers are heard. Please, join us in praying for this intention. "Ask and you shall receive…." I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you, our readers, who support our ministry. We could not do it without you.
Blessings!